Many times, I confuse what I want to do with what I feel obligated to do, moving further and further away from where I know I need to be. As these tasks continue to mount, I stare at the behemoth and defer, allowing the obstruction to swell.
What is the first action in leveling a colossus? Where do I strike?
It will not be easy. Persevere, and you will see it done.
Time is running out… now go.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you.
Thank you for giving me another day with my family. Give me the energy and self-control to engage them in the midst of everything else that begs for my attention. Help me exhibit unending patience with my children—just as you have with me—and respond with gentleness when my natural response is anger.
Thank you for my wife; there’s no way I could do this on my own. Help me to communicate my love for her through more than mere words today. Give me an extra measure of energy to deal with something on her plate so she won’t have to. I can’t thank you enough for her! Keep me steadfast in my affections.
Thank you for every smile, giggle, hug, and hilarious conversation; replace my anxiety with joy and contentment. Give me peace in handling challenges accompanying the ludicrous speed at which my children grow.
Most of all, thank you for your incredible grace. I do not deserve this family, nor the rebuilt life you offer me. Guide my steps, leading me on ancient paths, and give me discipline & endurance to consistently reject temptation.
No one compares to You! Your incredible power is immeasurable; Your love, unconditional; Your faithfulness unending.
Thank you… for everything.
Amen.
“Seized by the power of a great affection.”
Seized. It means to take possession; to take prisoner; to take hold of. To attack or overwhelm. Other words include confiscate, capture, arrest, clutch, grasp, apprehend, afflict.
Affection. It means a moderate feeling or emotion; tender attachment; a bodily condition like a disease or malady; disposition; the state of being affected. Other words include love, attachment, devotedness, fondness, passion.
Interesting what happens when you replace the phrase with those words.
Can I describe my relationship to God this way? Can I illustrate the current state of my marriage using these phrases? Is this even remotely close to the way my son or daughter experience my love for them?
If I were truly seized by the power of a great affection, what would that look like? How would I act? How would I respond? What would I do differently?
And my favorite? One of the definitions for “seize” as an intransitive verb says, “to fail to operate due to the seizing of a part…”
To fail to operate because something inside no longer works. Think of it—to be able to say: God’s incredible love has taken over to the point that I no longer operate according to the values or hungers which are the norm for the rest of the world. Why? Because I fail to operate according to the flesh—instead, I live by the Spirit (see Rom. 8).
Take the word a step further: Seizure. The state of being seized; the taking of possession of person or property by legal process; a sudden attack (as of disease); an abnormal electrical discharge in the brain.
Each wordplay provides a myriad of vastly different illustrations for what following Christ is supposed to mean. Rarely have I seen anything like this.
Earlier this week, I designed a graphic with this phrase which you can download for free. Set it as your desktop background, put it on your Facebook profile, or use it on your phone so that every time you see it you may be reminded of what God is doing in you and consider how to respond.
A few days ago, a man by the name of Brennan Manning passed away. I’m sure many of you reading this may be familiar with that name, but I know some of you may not. I was first introduced to Brennan’s writing through my family with his book “Ragamuffin Gospel.” I’m not one for rereading books, but this is one I have read more than a few times; it resonates and continues to inform my understanding of what it means to be loved by God.
The whole concept of FrayedParent.com originated from Manning’s influence. I even considered using the word Ragamuffin in the name somewhere, but chose instead to go with “Frayed.” Parenting is not about perfection or how others perceive us; it’s about love. The truth is no matter how hard I strive to be a good parent, I will always screw something up—most likely a myriad of things, each of them in a big way. And that’s assuming I have control over the circumstances.
As life rubs against us, we wear and tear. We are frayed, broken at the seams. Vulnerable. Helpless.
My only course of action is to relegate my authority, entrusting my life instead to a ridiculously faithful God who loves without condition.
Reflecting on the words of Brennan Manning after the news of his passing, I came across an interview in a book called “Ragamuffin Prayers,” compiled by Jimmy Abegg. I’d like to share a little of what Manning said:
“…[Ragamuffin] is an accurate description of our real life situation, of the reality that we are radically dependent upon God for our next breath—that we can trust the God who has brought us this far and know He is going to get us through the rest of the journey…
…but there are a number of reasons why the term works so well to describe our experience as followers of Christ. It is a way of seeing the Christian life that is different from traditional church culture. For example, ragamuffins don’t get served, they serve. And when there’s food on their plate, they don’t whine about the mystery meat or their distaste for veggies. They don’t whimper about the cracked plate or criticize the menu. they are just grateful that their belly is full. Nor do they complain about the feeble preaching and boring worship at their church. They are just happy that they have a place to mingle with others who are also beggars hungering for God’s mercy.
Ragamuffins are grateful for the Word, even though they may have read it many times and still know they haven’t fully grasped the beauty of its message…”
I always assumed sitting for hours on end coloring came naturally to all children. My son didn’t hesitate to prove me wrong. While he’s finally starting to enjoy it, my dreams of sitting quietly with him at Starbucks for hours on end remain pipe dreams large enough for Mario & Luigi to climb in at the same time and not get stuck.
For as crazy-outlandish as this child’s imagination is—he has his own personal entourage of spiders and dragons following him everywhere—I’m still amazed at how little he likes to draw. He lives in realms of fantasy all day long, yet when it comes to putting something on paper his desire for my wife or I to draw far outweighs his urge to recreate what’s in his mind’s eye.
On one rare occasion nearly a year ago, he managed to draw a picture straight from his imagination. Granted, I asked him some leading questions about what he was drawing: “Does it fly in the sky or swim in the water? Okay, show me how,” but the result was all him: Sal, the Underwater Monster. Colorful scribbles on construction paper, this picture rests comfortably on our fridge to this day.
I can’t look at that abstract doodle without smiling. It would make no sense to anyone else, and though I still remember what were supposed to be wings, a head, and a tail, it’s getting harder for me to make out the details. Yet, everything about that picture oozes my son, his imagination, and his personality.
I love it.
I bring this up because I was recently reminded of something I often forget:
We are God’s art. You and I are made by God, and even though our lives are a jumbled mess, He looks at us and smiles.
Isaiah 64:8 says, “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” I once captured a portrait of a man doing pottery; I was fascinated. Everything he threw started as something simple. Suddenly, what I thought was going to be a mug transformed with the slightest pressure into a bowl or a plate.
We are the work of God’s hand, forged in love. There’s no telling what art He will make out of you or me. Even if we look like scribbles to everyone around us, God finds great joy in each of us.
It’s why He risked so much to save us.
His beloved artwork.
On our way home from dinner last night, the weather was fantastic so we stopped by the park for the first time this year. It was a sobering experience. We discovered just how much our three-year old son had grown this winter as many of the tasks he was simply too small for last year he managed without even thinking: monkey bars, climbing ropes, moving his legs on the swing. Things we worked so hard with him on last Fall came without any coaching.
As he approached the fireman pole, I could see the look in his eye. This was one task that would take courage to do alone. I was all for him doing it unaided but he was insistent on needing help so we struck a deal: I would help him the first time, then he would do it again on his own. It worked! After showing him everything he needed to do and gently guiding him down the pole, I set him back up to do it again—this time without ever touching him.
The problem came later. After playing in the dirt for a while, he came back to this pole to show his mom what he could do. Timid, he tried again. He did everything right, except he didn’t hold tight to the pole, so he fell much faster this time. As his feet hit the ground, his head continued down, smashing his nose into the pole. Tears.
I picked him up, made sure he was okay, and asked him a question. “What happens when we fall down?” Through his crying he replied, “Get back up”—something we had taught him last year when he started to ride his first bike.
I think this must be what God had been taking Peter through during his time following Jesus. Having the courage to step out of the boat onto the raging water, only to take his eyes off Christ and begin to sink, Peter didn’t walk away from following Jesus afterwards. He got back up.
Later Peter swore he would stand by Jesus when things got tough, yet as predicted he denied even knowing Jesus three times that same night. After Jesus came back to life, he went to the beach where Peter and the others had gone fishing (Note, they were fisherman when Jesus first asked them to follow Him). This time, when Peter recognized Jesus, he jumped right out of the boat to get to him. Jesus reaffirmed Peter three times, countering Peter’s denial of Him.
He had fallen down, and God was gently reminding him to get back up.
Christ died for us knowing that we would still sin. We are forgiven, even if we just screwed up again for the millionth time. God simply wants us to trust Him, get back up, and give it another go.
Jesus once said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). It’s one thing to hear this statement, and I think we’d all agree with the truth of it—how often are we moved by stories of this kind of sacrifice? It’s quite another thing to realize this statement was spoken by someone who literally practiced what He preached.
Later in the Bible, Paul explains, “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:7-8).
What gets me is that Christ chose to go through with it. At any point in time, all He had to do was call upon the angels and He would be rescued. Spend five minutes on xbox live and listen to a myriad of people fighting to prove that they’re as amazing as they believe themselves to be (However, do so at your own risk; it gets pretty vulgar). Jesus truly was God come to Earth, and yet He still chose to remain on the cross in the face of so many insults.
One of the things I’ve always thought about, ever since I was little: What would’ve happened if Jesus had responded to the insults on the cross, as we are always so tempted to do? As he hung there, what would’ve happened when the people shouted, “Savior of the world, eh? And yet He can’t even save himself!” if He pulled his hand off, nail flying to the feet of the crowd. How scared would you be?
Instead He chose to endure the incredible pain. I have a hard enough time choosing to do just one more push-up when my muscles are burning and I need a break. How could He possibly choose to take one more lash, one more insult, or stay on that cross to bear God’s rejection as He became everything God hates—our sin.
Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross…”
In her book, Thoughts that Make Your Heart Sing, Sally Lloyd-Jones explains,
“…[Jesus] was running for a Prize—for the Joy set before him. What Prize? Jesus was God—he already had everything! What could he possibly need? What Joy did he not already have in heaven? That he had to come to earth to get? That he could only get by dying on the cross?
You.
You are Jesus’s Prize. You are his Joy. You are what he came to win.”
Eugene Peterson translates the familiar passage of John 3:16 this way:
“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted…”
Will you accept the incredible love that God offers? Will you deny yourself, your dreams, your hungers to instead live a life which brings God joy?
“Always winter but never Christmas.” This is how C.S. Lewis described the desolate land of Narnia in “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.” I feel that may be where we’re all caught right now.
Last night, my car had to be towed and you could look at it and know it wouldn’t be a cheap fix. Tonight, my wife has her second 12-hour shift at the hospital since she gave birth to our daughter; last shift our daughter decided to go on a hunger strike—literally screaming herself to sleep out of pure exhaustion. I’m at my limit.
Story after story in the news are about situations which break my heart, and they’re beginning to hit too close to home. Recently, my Facebook feed tells of lost loved ones, medical emergencies, and friends diagnosed with cancer.
Always winter but never Christmas. The valley of the shadow, undaunted and overwhelming.
As I thought about all of this today, I was reminded of the phrase, “When sorrows like sea billows roll…” It’s a line from the song, “It Is Well with My Soul,” written by Horatio Spafford after a series of several terrible events in his life. The first verse explains that in both situations of great peace and great sorrow, he has learned to say “It is well with my soul.”
Paul describes the same in Philippians 4:12 when he says, “I know what it is to be in need, and I learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”
The answer to this great secret can be found in the second verse of Spafford’s song:
Tho’ Satan should buffet, tho’ trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
Perhaps we should stop trying to avoid the pain, frustration, feelings of inadequacy, or fear, but rather acknowledge where that pain & fear stem from as we enter into this Passion week. Then, remember the ultimate price has already been paid by our Savior, and praise God with thankful hearts for He has seen us in our helplessness…
And rescued us
…giving strength to our weaknesses, our trials, and our suffering. So regardless of whether or not He may choose to deliver us from our particular situation, we too may be able to stand and say, “It is well with my soul.” Or echo the famous statement which Paul followed-up his explanation of contentment, above, by declaring:
“I can do all things through him who gives me strength.”
We were designed to have relationships. As a way to help communities connect, things like phones, computers, video game consoles, & social networks have all adapted to make human interaction incredibly convenient. However, in many cases the result is a smaller investment in deep, meaningful face-to-face interaction. The tools are having the opposite effect they were designed for: we shortcut strong, rich relationships in favor of superficial interaction.
Convenience is defined as something suitable or favorable to one’s comfort, purpose, or needs.
Interesting that we so often find the practices of our faith to be inconvenient.
To sit in reflection over God’s Word, repeat scripture over & over for memorization, or spending time in prayer for someone other than ourselves is a struggle when we could be doing so many other things with that time. Yet, we choose to blow so much of our time with our faces glued to our phones, computers or TV’s simply because it’s easy, thoughtless, relaxing—Convenient.
Fasting from food is overlooked altogether, but in circumstances where we may feel led to fast from something, we opt instead for taking a few days off Facebook, choosing to miss our favorite TV show (both of which we could catch-up on later), or just not drinking pop or our five dollar coffee for a while. It’s easy to give up a luxury and discover you can live without it. Abstaining from something we need is simply too inconvenient. Or perhaps, we simply no longer know the difference between luxury and necessity.
It seems our understanding of convenience has been limited to what’s comfortable or easy. What’s favorable for our real purpose, or suitable for our true needs, are the very practices that we shortcut with convenience. What may be best for us isn’t typically what’s easiest. In most cases, we truly grow when we are stretched out of our comfort zones.
To steal a phrase from designer & illustrator, Frank Chimero, perhaps we need to spend more time doing things “the long, hard, stupid way.”
Is it interrupting your day to spend time with someone? Or stopping to grab a cup of coffee and drop it off to a friend who could use it? Perhaps a phone call that you’ve simply been to busy or distracted to make?
Maybe it’s actually loosening the reigns a little on your children—let them make a poor decision and learn from it rather than forbid them to do it. Or instead setting some boundaries to stop walking the fine line between helping & enabling; blessing & entitlement. What about just challenging them to go one step farther out of their comfort zone?
Perhaps, the most loving thing you can do right now is take control of your own situation; work on fixing whatever is getting in the way. Lies, anger, pornography, laziness, alcohol, money.
What about stepping outside of your own bubble? Making a sacrifice for someone else: sponsoring a child to go to school, or provide food & clean water for a community without. Opening your home to a child whose parents have abandoned them for one reason or another. Helping to flip the medical bill for a hurting family, or bringing a ray hope & joy to those with none left.
Have you considered what you can do? What’s stopping you?
If you want a taste of the reckless, raging fury that is the love of God for yourself, act out what you believe to be the most loving thing you can do today, and see what God unlocks in you.
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31